Photo: Pic of me and my personal trainer after my final KiliClimb training session today
Help! I’ve fallen into my gear pile, and I can’t get up!!!
What started out months ago as an innocuous little accumulation of “stuff” in my closet has now turned into a big, gnarly, man-eating gear-pile. Tonight I knew I could ignore the growing mass no longer, so I dove in to take stock. Unfortunately, the enormity of it consumed me, and I felt trapped and overwhelmed:
Fortunately, my brave 5-1/2 pound toy Pomeranian pulled me to safety, so now I’m trying to figure out what to do with all this crap. Seriously, I need a Valium STAT!
And this isn’t even all of it! I still have to add tons of clothing and other gear before it is complete. I have no idea how I’m going to keep it under 35 pounds–the maximum weight allowance for the trip.
My Achilles Heel for the remaining tasks in preparation for my Saturday departure is my general lack of organization when it comes to packing. I am not a good packer. Actually, I’m a GREAT packer for my purposes. I simply grab everything I need at the last minute, stuff it into a suitcase, and sit on it until the damn thing closes. But this trip isn’t like other trips. Jeff, our expedition guide, has admonished repeatedly that we “need to know where our stuff is at all times and must be able to pull any random item out on command!” {Insert visual of me on the mountain trying to locate my tube of SPF 50 chapstick and tossing random garments and equipment over my shoulder for hours, making a big mess. And then never finding the chapstick.}
Fortunately, there are great videos and information out there on packing for Kilimanjaro, so I’m saved! I also ordered some ultralight packing cubes at the suggestion of Memmy Staber and will be sorting things into packets by day. Thus, on Day 1 of the climb, (theoretically) I will locate Packing Cube #1 and “execute.” Anything that needs to be repeated the next day, such as medications, will then be moved to Packing Cube #2, and so on. The problem is going to be getting the right stuff in the right cubes so I’m properly prepared for each day. {DEEP BREATH HERE.} I really would just prefer to be a slob and throw everything in that orange North Face expedition bag, but alas, that will get me in trouble with the porters and my guide. Jeff will be doing a private gear check in Arusha on the 19th for each and every climber, and I want to pass that test. No sense in getting off on the wrong foot with the boss!
If you’re wondering what one might need to take on an adventure such as this, here is our official gear list for Kili. It is extensive because of those five climate zones that we have to pass through.
kili-gear-list
F.U.D.
My favorite item on the list by far is the Freshette, also known generally as a “female urinary director,” or “F.U.D.” There are many different brands, but I stuck with the actual Freshette. I keep referring to it in my blogs because I swear it’s the best thing ever! Not to be graphic, but this little device allows me to pee just about anywhere without having to disrobe–very discreet. After having used it many times on my hikes, I am pleased to report that I have mastered the formerly all-male dominated techniques of peeing standing up and peeing into a bottle. I haven’t tried yet, but I’m pretty sure I could write my name in the snow. I do believe I will try that next time I find some snow!!!
Recently we were reminded that we needed to become “proficient” at doing it sitting in a tent (for those nights when it is super cold and we don’t want to go outside), and I can report that I am an accomplished Jedi Master in that regard. I am so excited about this new skill! One of the most miserable things from my many past tent camping experiences was having to get up in the middle of the night, get dressed, and go find the restroom. Then good luck trying to get back to sleep. No more!!! All I need is my Freshette and an empty Gatorade bottle, with a proper skull and crossbones designation to avoid inadvertent ingestion of the contents. 🙂
Unfortunately, I hear that one of my fellow climbers (name withheld to protect the guilty) is unable to navigate her F.U.D. without peeing all over her pants and shoes. Note to self: Teach her my fail-safe technique as soon as we arrive at Arusha! And I promised to bring some of my dog’s wee wee pads to put under her just in case! Oh, the fun we’re going to have!!!
For a HILARIOUS video on this subject, click here. Don’t worry, there’s no nudity or anything like that. It’s just funny. F.U.D. Demonstration Video
CORESTRONG
Last but not least, I need to give a big shout out to my personal trainer, Auden Lewis, shown at the top of this post. He has trained me HARD for the last couple months, and the results have been amazing. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, my strength is SO MUCH BETTER, not to mention my stamina. He knows how to push me just to the point of vomiting and/or passing out, and then he lets me rest–for about 3 seconds and then BACK TO IT! My favorite part is when we do walking lunges: When it is time to step my back leg forward, he commands, “STEP UP THAT MOUNTAIN, BADGER!!! GIT THAT!!!” I have noticed that when I’m out hiking and have to step up something, I can hear Auden saying that, and it always makes me smile. Thank you, Auden, for making me do “dead bug” and other fun core exercises, too! I’ll be back!
With that, I need to sign off so I can pack for my trip to Colorado. I’ll be gone for three days, so you probably won’t here from me until Friday. Just know that I’ll be freaking out somewhere at all times and possibly breaking out in hives. Keep sending those comments and support.
Onward and UPWARD!!!
-Badger
