T Minus 0:  Waiting to Exhale

The journey has officially begun. I’m at SeaTac International Airport waiting for my 2:05 flight. 9.5 hours to Amsterdam, 1.25 hour layover, then 8.5 hours to Kilimanjaro. I look like a pusher with all the Rx bottles in my bags. Maybe I’m breaking bad?  Better call Saul!  My hope is to sleep on the Seattle to Amsterdam leg and stay up on the connecting flight. 

It has been a crazy week. My anxiety issues have been in full tilt, reducing me to a thermonuclear stress hairball. As of a few days ago, my appetite shut down, and I’ve been eating sheerly out of obligation to fuel my body. I’m not sleeping for shit. I also started the anti-malarial, which will apparently give me “vivid dreams.”  Great. I hope I don’t have one of my epic ax murderer nightmares until I’m back!

About a week ago, one of my fellow climbers, Edie Magnus, wrote about a comment our guide made during a recent conference call. See her article here:  Edie’s Corn Pops Article  I loved her comment about the spit take, because I will confess I had the same reaction. Pleasurable?!?  Wtf?!? I’m hiking ’til I puke, working out ’til I puke, spending tons of money amassing and organizing gear, getting my wits scared out of me on precipitous trails, and generally fretting about the whole thing. Is our guide a little cuckoo?

Nope. Turns out he was right. I just had to figure it out for myself. 

It wasn’t until this last weekend, as I made my way down the last hour of the Mount Ellinor trail, surrounded only by quiet nature, that it hit me:  this is my last training hike for Kili. I became extremely emotional and burst into tears. From that point forward, the enormity of this incredible adventure and everything that’s come with it settled in. Here’s what I realized:

• I have climbed numerous trails and mountains over the summer, including Grays Peak, a Colorado 14er 
• I have become much stronger. My endurance is greatly improved. 
• I’m still afraid of heights, but I’ve conquered some scary stretches of trail, including class 3 scrambling on Mount St. Helens’ boulder field. It has increased my confidence. I’m still a crappy climber, but I’m better. ?
• I danced Gangnam-style at the summit of Mount Townsend in the Olympic National Forest. (That’s a private video!  Too embarrassing.). ?
• I enjoyed precious times with friends and family who endured hiking with me a few times. I can never thank you enough for sharing in my journey and giving of your own time, sweat, and patience to help me improve my own skills. Even my toy Pomeranian accompanied me on several. 
• I wouldn’t have gone to Copper Mountain in June and met some really incredible people, including Erik Weihenmayer and Kyle Maynard. I am in complete awe of their strength and perseverance. They really live a life with No Barriers. 
• I wouldn’t have met some incredible women, who I know will be lifelong friends now that we’ve connected through this campaign. Thank you, Heather Thomson, for spearheading our climb!  Big shout out to Amilya Antonetti and Remembrance Staber as well. You guys are fab!  
• I wouldn’t be getting this opportunity to see part of Africa and the highest freestanding mountain in the world. Hell, the idea of going to Africa, let alone attempting Kilimanjaro, never occurred to me.  
• I am never going to experience the adventure leading to this moment ever again. However, I will always have those precious memories that Jeff referred  to.

I will also never forget the kind comments and encouragement I’ve received. You don’t know how much it means to me and how truly precious it is. I wanted to share just one example of many, which my good friend “HurriKen” Lieb sent via email yesterday. It is an example of the perfection that is my family and friends:

Subject: Last Wildflower of the Season

Perhaps. This tough one managed to survive hard freezes in valley below Grey’s Peak.  

I kinda figure that is a good picture for you, given how tough you are. I am very confident your Kili trip will go well. Keep me posted.

Hurriken

  Here’s the picture he was referring to:

Hurriken took this photo yesterday at Grays Peak: the very peak he helped me summit with his dear wife, Suzy, in July. It is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I owe a debt of gratitude to Hurriken and Suzy for making it happen and believing in me.  (Next time, could you take it easy on the HAFE??  Ha!  Just kidding). For the uninitiated, “HAFE” stands for High Altitude Flatulent Emissions. Like its cousins, HACE and HAPE, it can kill. It is silent but deadly. Okay, in this case, not so silent.  ?

Hurriken’s photo is now my iPhone home screen photo. 

This photo brought out the tears again and reminded me how fortunate I am to have such wonderful, wise, funny, caring friends and family. BIG HUGS AND THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!! ❤️???

Soon I will be on a different continent in a foreign land, attempting to do what I’m sure will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Although I’m coming in well-prepared and “loaded for bear,” I cannot predict my outcome. The Kili Team will be facing great adversity through jet lag/fatigue, rough terrain, extreme high altitude, drastic climate changes in mere days, and the filth and stench of seven days without showers. ?  I can handle the reek, but I can’t control how my body will respond to the altitude–none of us can. But we are going in at ramming speed, backed by the outpouring of support. We’re going to do our best to prove that “what’s within you is stronger than what’s in your way.” 

In the end, I hope I will be like that wildflower, standing triumphant at Uhuru Point. But no matter what happens, my life will be forever changed for the better. 

I wish the best for all of you and hope that you find happiness and purpose in your lives. Please keep the encouragement coming:  we’re not done yet!!

Onward and UPWARD,

Badger ⛰?