The Tale of the Badger With Two Left Feet

Well, actually I can’t blame my latest industrial accident on my feet. It’s my eyes again. My depth perception sucks. I have off-the-charts astigmatism. I wear very strong progressive eyeglasses that create even more distortion. So I’m always tripping over stuff. Even not stuff (i.e., the air).

I had good intentions this morning. I was headed out to do HIIT training, and on my first interval, while running at a pretty good clip, I misjudged a rock or something and tripped. I have great balance and recovery skills, but alas, I was already too far gone in my ground-bound trajectory. I face planted. My headphones went flying, and I heard a sickening crack sound coming from where my iPhone was resting in my waist carrying case.

It knocked the wind out of me, and as I tried to sit up, I was hit with a big wave of nausea and dizziness. I started to black out from the pain, but several bystanders had gotten to me quickly and kept me roused. I told them in Swahili that I was going to vomit. They reassured me that I wouldn’t and carried me to my hairdresser’s saloon and laid me on the couch.

That helped much with the nausea and fainting, but then that lovely medical shock buzz subsided and the real pain started. After I caught my breath, I looked at the parts of my body that were now reading me the Riot Act: both knees, both elbows, and the palms of my hands. And I’m basically wearing the road. Oops. That doesn’t look good.

I got home, inhaled 800 mg of ibuprofen, and managed to drive to the hospital, where they cleaned me up, picked out the embedded rocks, drenched me in antibiotic ointment, bandaged me, and declared me injured but alive!

Speaking of antibiotic ointment, I’m sending a big shout out to my dermatologist, Ulrike Ochs, for insisting that I take a big tube of Mupirocin prescription topical antibiotic back to Africa with me, ’cause today we used half of it. I think it’ll probably be gone by time I’m healed.

Now I’m pedicuring, determined to have something good and pleasant happen today. The pain is better, and I can still bend my knee. Yay.

As I sit here getting a heavenly leg massage, it occurred to me that in a lifetime and well over 10,000 miles of road cycling, I’ve never had road rash nearly as bad as what I got while running, even though I was actually hit by a car once while cycling. Can you say, “high quality protective gear?” I think I’d better get my bike here and start riding again. Obviously running is too high tech for this badger.

Be safe out there! Don’t be like Badger!

-Badger OUCH

3 Comments

  1. Reply
    Cynthia

    Omg, im glad nothings broke. Speedy recovery my friend

  2. Reply
    Chris Evenstar

    Maybe someday I’ll be able to access all my photos off my old hard drive. In the meantime, you’ll have to imagine 3 of my compatriots in 2006 on Day 1 of the Big Ride across America who hit a concrete/asphalt seam flying down Snoqualmie Pass. All 3 survived, but I’ll let you imagine what they looked like!

    1. Reply
      The Badger Post author

      I can imagine. Ouch. Oh well! We live to tell.

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