In 2004 I traveled Mexico extensively after completing the Bar Exam. The trip was wonderful and notable on many levels, but due to recent events, a memory of a particular night has surfaced.
During the trip, I spent an evening at Uxmal Pyramid, which had an evening show. We saw bats swooping around us eating bugs, and wanting to continue increasing my Spanish vocabulary, I asked the translation from a person near me. “Murciélago,” he said. Wow, I thought. What a long word for such a short English word. I was determined to learn it, so I repeated it throughout the evening until I had it.
In 2013, I visited the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum in Tucson, Arizona (not to be missed!). They had a cool bat-specific tour, with a spot where you could photograph yourself and loved ones with bat ears the size they would be on humans given the same scale on bats. My results below:
Of note, I am a huge Dracula fan. It’s my favorite book. I’ve always been fascinated and grossed out by the concept of Dracula turning into a bat. Creepy!
So you can imagine my horror when I awoke last Sunday with Vlad the Impaler in his nocturnal air conveyance form, very dead, lying a few feet from our bed. Or was he the Un-Dead?)
As you can see, in my usual Badger behavior, I grabbed my phone and photographed the interloper.
No. I’m not bat-shit crazy. It turns out it may have saved my life and my husband’s as well. We will find out. Read on.
You see, I immediately thought RABIES when I saw that critter, but I said, “No worries because it didn’t bite us. You would feel it and then see the wound.”
Nope. Nope nope. Not necessarily. Let me continue …
Tuesday, two days after the encounter with the Prince of Darkness, I started feeling very ill: body aches, dizziness, diarrhea, and vomiting. I cursed the can of tuna I’d eaten for lunch and vowed to swear off tuna from then on.
Feeling worse on Wednesday, we decided to go to the hospital to figure out which species of bacteria I’d gotten this time. I was thrilled to learn that they saw no evidence of bacteria but rather indicators of a virus. Apparently there’s a lot of flu going around Arusha, so we chalked it up to that. I got orders to rest and hydrate. Yay! For once I didn’t have food poisoning!!
Then last night I opened my photos, and I caught the image of that damned bat out of the corner of my eye.
RABIES, BADGER. RABIES. Listen to The Force.
I don’t know if it’s intuition or lawyer’s instincts or paranoia (probably a little bit of all those things), but something in my gut (such as nausea) made me Google this phrase: “Can you be bitten by a bat without knowing it?”
I will just leave the answer right here. https://curiosity.com/topics/if-a-bat-were-to-bite-you-in-your-sleep-youd-probably-never-know-curiosity/
Yep. Yep yep. Holy schnikies, Batman!!
I immediately consulted the biologist-types in my family, and after some research, we concluded the Honey Badger had better get a rabies shot. Larick, too.
So on Thursday morning I drove like a bat outta hell to the hospital and received the first of an intensive five-injection series, to be completed within four weeks. The good news is that they don’t do those painful rabies shots in the stomach anymore. Just an intramuscular hit to the arm. Easy!! And though the standard is to start the vaccinations within 72 hours after exposure, the doctor says I will be fine. (It’s been 84 hours.) My immune system has gotten me through a lot of crises, so I’m gonna assume she will smack the living bejesus out of the rabies invaders. Heck, we don’t even know if I was bitten. But every doctor I spoke to said to get the shot now. I’m not taking any chances. It’s just not polite to foam at the mouth. Ahem.
In reality, I am scared. I don’t want to be Batgirl or Cujo. I am Honey Badger, damn it! And I don’t feel very easy knowing that at this very moment I have all the early symptoms of abies-ray. But everyone, including the doctors and officials at the CDC say it is way too early to be seeing symptoms and they they don’t normally appear for weeks or months. So this truly is gastroenteritis or something similar. Right?!?
In the end, I am thankful for this flu illness, my heightened suspicion, honed by years of suing and cross-examining dishonest insurance companies, and my propensity to photo document every seemingly inane thing that happens in my life. If I am still around in a year, it will mean crisis averted–at least THIS crisis! If nothing else, take this as a public service message: if you are exposed to a bat or other vermin, especially during sleep, seek professional medical help right away. Several people in the US have died after a close encounter with a bat, and some didn’t know they’d been bitten. It was only long after they became ill that they found out what happened, and by then it’s too late. I had no idea this was a thing.
Murciélago, be gone!!! I was just kidding when I put on your ears for that photo in Tucson. {Short pause while Badger adjusts the garlic and crucifix on her chest.}. Badger’s gotta wooden stake and a holy Eucharist with your name on it, and I am not afraid to use them, O wretched murciélago! [If you don’t know these references, you really must read Dracula by Bram Stoker.]
Feel free to leave bat-related quotes or whatever in the comments. And send happy thoughts our way. It’s been a tough few days.
-Badger OUT.
Interesting story !